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Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
If I could move things by telekinesis I`d squeeze people`s insides and make them fart.
My wife says "YOU`RE DRUNK!" like it is a bad thing.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.