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Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
You`ve got to love yourself ... Just not in public places
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.