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I like the part of the day where we eat the food.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
I decided to tell the kids that Santa is made up but nighttime home invasions are very real.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?