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The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
A coworker wouldn`t stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
To Do: Figure out how to get paid to travel the world and eat.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.