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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
On my tombstone I want it to say: ‘I didn’t forward the text message to 15 friends.” ;)
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I’ve been saving up my tickets for 27 years sir, and I would like to purchase this very chuck e cheese.
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
Pool is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!