Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
Some people should come with subtitles.