Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
When you put ‘aspiring’ in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I’m unemployed.
Dating should be like buying a car. You should get to talk to the previous owners... SHOW ME THE MANFAX!!
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
If you think you have problems, remember that Malaysian man who told his wife he was flying to China... and now he can`t get out of his girlfriend`s apartment...
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.