Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Doctor: How`s your headache? Patient: She`s out of town.
The only way a fidgey spinner would relieve my stress is if it was edible ...
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
Iām mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
Fun thing to do #48: Spice up your food delivery order by ending the call with "And NO cops!"