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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
I always walk through my office with a stern look on my face and a toilet plunger to avoid conversations.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?