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Little to no thought was put into this status.
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
Caterpillars have the ideal life. They eat a lot and then sleep for a while and wake up beautiful.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
“I’m going to be a little bit late” -people that are going to be very late