Daily Silly Status

Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though

You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH

if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail

One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.

I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.

I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?

Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."

Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.

If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."

I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.

My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?

I`m perfect you adjust.

Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.