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Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever see a fat bird.
I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
If you aren`t sure if you like someone, here`s a test: imagine they`re dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.