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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid people
My family tree is a cactus, we`re all pricks.
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.