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Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I`d just laugh and search with them.
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
If I had a time machine, I would just keep going back to bed.
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light