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Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
The success of a marriage hinges entirely on the ability to know which of your wife’s clothing is okay to go into the dryer.
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.