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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
I`ll never forget the first time I saw a dry erase board, "Wow" I thought, "that`s remarkable"
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
I don’t think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. I’ve been here for an hour and I’m still fixing her sink.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.