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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
I like it like that
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...