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What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.