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People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
Apparently, "Step up your game" isn`t the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.