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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
Please don`t hastag out loud...
The fact that Burger King can sell you 10 chicken nuggets for $1.49 should concern you more than it should entice you.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.