Daily Silly Status

Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.

The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.

PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.

Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.

I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"…

Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”

If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.

No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.

I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.

That moment when you realize the object of #WeightWatchers is NOT see who can score the most points...

I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work

I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.

Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.

The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.

I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".