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Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
A guy had his whole left side torn off, the doctor said he`s all right.