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“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
I look so young for my rage.
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
Sarcasm is funnier when used on people who don`t understand it.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.