Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My Doctor says I`m a serious alcoholic, but I think I`m more of a funny alcoholic.
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
I just saved a lot of money in child support by switching to condoms!
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.