Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.