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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
Dating would be a lot easier if the opposite sex had a tail. That way, I could see if it was wagging or not after I did or said something.
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.
Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.
If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away.