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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?