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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
"May the 4th" be with you!
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
I`m beginning to think that my destiny in life is just to be a bad example that other people can learn from.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
Two things everybody wants: 1) Lose weight. 2) Eat.