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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
Starting to believe I`m trouble
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
I hate how after an argument I think of really clever stuff I should have said.
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.