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...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
A man in front of me at Walmart is buying a pregnancy test. I bet this is the one time in his life he wishes she had sent him for tampons!
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?