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Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
It`s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you`ve reached your destination.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem