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Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.
7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me.
Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.