Daily Silly Status

Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn`t do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.

You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.

I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.

My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums

Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.

There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!

This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel

Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Life`s too short for Salad..............

If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.

I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.

Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed

I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .

Women who tell me I have commitment issues have never seen me with a large pizza.

Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.