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The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
I hate when my mom tells people I`m 503 months old.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.