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I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
How do nudist clean their glasses?
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around