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I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
"You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry" - me practicing for a successful relationship.
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn`t attend.
Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
"You should`ve come with us!" well, inviting me would`ve helped..
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance