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The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
When your kids become teenagers, it`s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.