Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one...
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"