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It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
Once I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Alcohol-The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance medicine.
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.