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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
Relationship status: If I slam on my brakes really hard... The seatbelt hugs me back.
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write: "Last warning, you have a week to get the rest of the money together."
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
DonΒ΄t be stupid, itΒ΄s not smart.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
why we do not have a romance class...............
I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he`s a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.