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My last relationship was a lot like The Notebook. It felt like it lasted forever and we both wanted to die towards the end.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.