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I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
If you`ve never put fake blood capsules in your mouth before going to the dentist you are too mature to be my friend.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.