Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
Caught myself yelling "F*CK YOU" to my burrito for dripping on my pants, if you were wondering who`s raising the next generation.
When I hear a person say "My Mom didn`t raise no dummy", I feel like saying "She lied to you"
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
When you can no long help someone, I can - said the coroner.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
I`d like to give a shoutout to all the people who are going through an identity crisis, you know who you are... I think.
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
Champagne says I`m classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally