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It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.