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Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
This day is only a margarita away from being a good one.
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.