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SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
I’m sorry I’m late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the f**k he was protecting his eyes from.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.