Daily Silly Status

I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.

I think its nice my vacuum cleaner has head lights. Just in case I wanna wake up in the middle of the night and clean in the dark, or wake up my dog making him think he’s getting hit by a

Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair

I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.

I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.

Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.

What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?

Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?

Half the lies they tell about me aren`t true

Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things

I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.

You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.

A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D

If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.