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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!