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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
I`m at my most relaxed around dogs and prescription drugs.
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.