Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”