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Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable applications of high explosives.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
I hav 10 fingers bt i usd only.. the thumb to write this...!
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Sweat pants & Uggs in public says "and I didn`t brush my teeth, either."
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.