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This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
People at work tell me I have a lot of patience. Fact is… there are just way too many witnesses around
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.