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Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like to think I`m special, because the thought of idiots like me existing in large numbers is f*cking terrifying.
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if Iām not sure what it means
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.