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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Warning: I just get weirder.
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.