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Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Out of all the lies I`ve ever told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
Your license plate should be your phone number... So when you drive like a dumbass, I can let you know about it.
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
So does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won`t share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding! I have no clue whose kid this is.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.