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Maybe early risers just aren’t as awesome at sleeping as I am.
French people give me the crepes.
Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. I don`t think that boobs and brains this fabulous should count against me.
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
Lies I`ll never stop telling: 1. I`d never put you in a home, mom. 2. It`s 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.