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Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.