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I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
Just saw the previews for the movie Taken 3, you would think by now he would`ve gave his daughter self-defense and gun lessons?