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Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
I`m "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don`t trust my farts anymore" years old.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.