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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
Dear Santa, I was framed!
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
Better late than pregnant.
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!
i dont have drain bramage.