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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
What number SPF blocks people?
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
Your secret is safe with me as long as it`s boring.
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
Siri, where are my pants?
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.