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Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
Boss: Where`s the progress report I asked u for. Me: I haven`t made any progress, that`s my report! - What I imagine it`d be like if I had a job
Your duty as a friend is to LIKE my Facebook posts even if they suck.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!