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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
Got tossed outta Starbucks this morning for asking the really cute redhead behind the counter for a "Quickie". Apparently it`s pronounced "Quiche`" who knew......
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn`t tear away ..
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.