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Cashiers are always checking me out.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.