Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
Every now and then when I`m in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you`re listening". If I`m wrong, nobody knows. If I`m right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.
Lets be honest. Half of life is messing up and half is frantically trying to fix it.
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
Have you ever held your money and thought "I hope this hasn´t been up a stripper´s butt"
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.
If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell