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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
I put the pro in inappropriate.
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
My wife said to go out and buy something that makes her look hot & sexy for Valentine`s Day! So I got drunk.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
Calling your girlfriend beautiful because you forgot her name.