Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
keeps getting dirty voicemails from unknown numbers. If it`s you.. Send more
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, "I think it`s Santa Claus!" so I don`t have to get up.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!