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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
If I ask my dad to take a picture of me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling "It`s the button on the left!"
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business