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Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
Next time you take your dog for a walk pretend he`s solving a mystery.
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
It’s a status….not your diary…
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!