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All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.
You´d be amazed how often I´m wrong when people say guess what