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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
I smoked weed once and realized spoons are just little bowls on sticks
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
You`re probably wondering how I post so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.
At least a stalker is there for you.