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I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
My dog acts like his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor`s house is genius.
My To-Do list for today is just a bunch of things I wanna eat.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.