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Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
If your ever wondering who your real friends are all you have to do is delete your facebook account for about week without saying anything and see who calls
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
I ate the whole box of Slim Fast bars. So excited about how skinny I`ll be when I wake up tomorrow.
Why has no one invented a button next to snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?