Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some days are just not meant to be productive.
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a video camera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.